"oh my god it’s finally empty."
"THE BED IS FINALLY MINE!! YOU FOOLS ABANDONED THE MOST COMFORTABL-FUCK"
*Slightly horny guy friend trying to be smooth*: “What’re you doing?”
*Me*: “Just in bed.”
*SHGF*: “Heh. Sounds lonely. Heh.”
*Me*: “Nope. Not really. I like having my big bed all to myself, thanks.”
NOT EVERY WOMAN WANTS TO CUDDLE N SHIT OKAY
I LIKE TO SPRAWL OUT AND KICK THINGS IN MY SLEEP AND DROOL SOMETIMES
"you’re an adult now"
"you need to choose a career"
"you need to make your own doctor’s appointment"
The fucking notes!! I wonder if they’ve seen this recently.
There is not enough cream to recover from that burn… someone call a doctor, that man needs a brain amputation.
Seal jumps on duck hunter’s boat and wants to cuddle X
What a handsome son of a bitch
pls have sex with me
I am straight, and I think this nigga is hot
WHAT IS HIS NAME HES SO ATTRACTIVE
THANK YOU. I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR ABOUT 5 YEARS
What am I going to do now?
You can die happily
OH SWEET JESUS THIS IS MUCH NEEDED COMPARED TO THAT POST TELLING YOU YOUVE LOST THE GAME
OH MAN THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY
the harry potter fandom actually has some of the weirdest crack pairings in fanfic I have ever seen like
and my personal favourite
"Dobby had always wanted clothes, but never like this."
I almost forgot…..Nevada State Senator Kelvin Atkinson comes out as a black gay man todayTHROW THAT SHADE SENATOR!!
Holy shit, this is wonderful!