*Walks in and sees me messing with my phone*

Mom: “Oh, what’re ya doin’? Talking to your friends?”

"NO MOM I’M GOOGLING WHY CHARLIZE THERON IS SO PERFECT. LIKE, NO JOKE THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I TYPED IN AND GOT SOME PRETTY EXPLANATORY ANSWERS. THE FIRST SEARCH RESULT WAS ACTUALLY "why is Charlize Theron dating Sean Penn?" WHICH IS ALSO KIND OF A VALID QUESTION…

I mean, yes. Yes. Talking to my friends…”

I have no idea why I’m laying here reading movie trivia at 3 AM but can I just say that the movie The Descent creeps me out to no end. It kind of makes me sick to my stomach. Not the gore or anything, just the whole message in general. If you haven’t seen it just watch it.

my-patronus-is-a-winchester:

gilmckinney:

gilmckinney:

god bless comic artists for drawing captain america’s ass so fine

you guys think im jokin

image

ass so fine

god bless avengers casting directors for casting captain america’s ass so fine

image

i pledge allegiance to that ass

nowyoukno:

Now You Know (Source)
druoxtheshredder:

"oh my god it’s finally empty."
"THE BED IS FINALLY MINE!!  YOU FOOLS ABANDONED THE MOST COMFORTABL-FUCK"

druoxtheshredder:

"oh my god it’s finally empty."

"THE BED IS FINALLY MINE!!  YOU FOOLS ABANDONED THE MOST COMFORTABL-FUCK"

Current Convo

*Slightly horny guy friend trying to be smooth*: “What’re you doing?”

*Me*: “Just in bed.”

*SHGF*: “Heh. Sounds lonely. Heh.”

*Me*: “Nope. Not really. I like having my big bed all to myself, thanks.”


NOT EVERY WOMAN WANTS TO CUDDLE N SHIT OKAY
I LIKE TO SPRAWL OUT AND KICK THINGS IN MY SLEEP AND DROOL SOMETIMES

kingkitsu:

smoothierox:

ifollowbadblogs:

"you’re an adult now"

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"you need to choose a career"

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"you need to make your own doctor’s appointment"
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Sooo0oo if men could get pregnant… Would this kinda shit still happen?

Sooo0oo if men could get pregnant… Would this kinda shit still happen?

ijustloveyoutubers:

helioscentrifuge:

SHOTS FIRED

The fucking notes!! I wonder if they’ve seen this recently.

goldcollars:

alpernoth:

There is not enough cream to recover from that burn… someone call a doctor, that man needs a brain amputation.

SlaaaAAAAAY BETTTTCH

Seal jumps on duck hunter’s boat and wants to cuddle X

italianluxury:

skyvinci:

somethingbitter:

sheathegay:

What a handsome son of a bitch

pls have sex with me

I am straight, and I think this nigga is hot

WHAT IS HIS NAME HES SO ATTRACTIVE

italianluxury:

skyvinci:

somethingbitter:

sheathegay:

What a handsome son of a bitch

pls have sex with me

I am straight, and I think this nigga is hot

WHAT IS HIS NAME HES SO ATTRACTIVE